


session #3

by novoaa1



Series: lena luthor goes to therapy! (and only two seasons late) [4]
Category: DCU, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, POV Lena Luthor, Sad Kara Danvers, Sad Lena Luthor, again kelly really should be getting paid for this cause this is sum next level bullshit, and thats facts no printer, but uh, lena luthor deserves better ok, snarky lena luthor, things HAPPENED, uhhhh, uhhhhh, was supposed to be mostly just funny with little to no angst, which i love with my whole heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 10:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20006563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novoaa1/pseuds/novoaa1
Summary: Aaaand they're back again. Third time's the charm?(Not exactly.Or at all, really.To be very clear, Lena hopes that whoever coined that saying died a torturously slow and agonizing death for perpetuating something so painfully imbecilic.)





	session #3

**Author's Note:**

> look.... i was just gonna make this mostly a funny thing with a light amount of angst but then something happened and it went from snarky bickering between our favorite married couple to an angst fest with crying so fast i think i actually got whiplash while writing it
> 
> also sorry- haven't done really much editing beside a quick once-over after i finished, so i'll come back and do some edits when i can....
> 
> enjoy?

“So, ladies,” Kelly begins, wearing a slightly-less-excited look on her face than the one she’d sported for the two sessions previous—really, Lena can’t much blame her for that. “How are we today?”

“Good!” Kara exclaims with an emphatic nod of her head, one that Kelly returns almost immediately thereafter before turning her gaze upon a rather unenthused Lena.

“Peachy,” she remarks flatly by way of response—Kelly’s lips twitch and Kara shifts nervously in place beside her.

“R-Right,” Kelly continues haltingly, her confidence appearing to dwindle by the second. (Lena almost feels bad for the poor woman.) “So, how are you both feeling about our last two sessions? I think it’d be good to unpack those as best as we can.”

There’s silence in response to that, and Lena can feel Kara’s nervous gaze upon her as if waiting for her to take the initiative—well, tough shit; as far as Lena’s concerned, Kara can be the bigger person here. (Heaven knows she’s been doing it for far longer than any sane person would consider reasonable.) 

Eventually, Kara seems to relent, turning to Kelly and carefully stating, “I feel like they didn’t go very well,” with a slight frown—Lena has to fight the powerful urge to roll her eyes at that. 

“Oh, really? How insightful,” she retorts instead, casting her gaze skyward and studiously ignoring the wide-eyed and vaguely offended look she can feel Kara sending her way as a result. 

“Lena—"

“Oh, don’t ‘ _Lena_ ’ me,” Lena snaps back whilst affixing her with a decidedly cold glower, and Kara’s frown merely deepens. 

“But… " she trails off hesitantly, looking so thoroughly confused in a way that only Kara Danvers ever can. (Lena outright refuses to find it even moderately endearing.) “But, that’s your name.”

“Son of a _bi_ —"

“Ladies!” Kelly squeaks out in a high-pitched tone; reluctantly, Lena halts her speech and shifts her gaze from an alarmed Kara to acknowledge her. “Let’s um,” she pauses abruptly, looking unsure, wide brown eyes darting from a desperate-looking Kara to an adversely peeved Lena and back again with startling haste. “Let’s discuss something else, shall we? Preferably, a topic that's slightly less… charged.”

Kara bobs her head up and down like a Golden Retriever on speed (really, all that’s missing is the incessant wagging of a yellowy-fur-covered tail), and Lena sighs, even as she she can’t help the infuriating smile that quirks at her stubborn lips born out of pure adoration for the super-powered space puppy in question. 

“That sounds good!” Kara agrees excitedly, then stops herself amidst a flurry of hyperactive movement, golden brows furrowed. _Christ_ , Lena thinks. “But, what should we talk about?”

“Well, I—"

“ _I_ have an idea,” Lena counters in a glacial tone, doing her very best to draw upon the anger simmering low in her gut as she stares down a suddenly nervous-looking Kara.

Kelly sighs. “Lena, y—"

“Let’s talk about how utterly _discourteous_ it is to lie to the person you call your ‘best friend,’ the one with an emotionally abusive family, and trust issues through the bloody _roof_ , a—"

“Lena, _please_ , I only lied because—"

“Do you think I care?” Lena snaps, cheeks heating with overwhelming frustration. “Do you think that _matters?_ "

Kara drops her jaw and visibly blanches, clearly affronted, as if Lena’s just asked her the most nonsensical question of the century. “Um. _Yes?!_ "

Lena merely glares, unimpressed. “It's morally reprehensible, Kara, and I don’t care about your cheap _excuses_ —"

“‘Morally reprehensible’?” Kara repeats blankly, her dismayed expression wrought with incredulity.

“Oh, _I’m_ sorry, darling,” Lena retorts dryly, sarcasm positively dripping from every word. “It seems that I’ve forgotten yet again how painfully limited your vocabulary is. ‘Morally reprehensible’ means—“

“I _know_ what it means,” Kara hisses back, face tinged a rosy pink as she turns hastily to face a bewildered Kelly with a desperate look. “Can you _please_ tell her—"

“Oh, so, you’re not going to bother saying it to my face?” Lena quips with a rueful shake of her head, inwardly praying that her $200 Dior foundation is doing well to hide the heated blush tinting her cheeks (—it’s why she’d paid such an obscene amount of money for it, after all). "How laughably predictable."

A marginally worried-looking Kelly opens her mouth to speak then, but an indignant Kara beats her to it, both hands gesturing wildly in the air as she scrambles to make her point heard: “Lying is _not_ bad, or ‘reprehensible,’” she injects emphatic air-quotes there, cheeks flushed, “or _whatever_ you want to call i—"

“It’s in the _Bible_ , for Christ’s sake,” Lena interrupts with palpable annoyance, rolling her eyes yet again when Kara gives her a wholeheartedly dumbfounded look in return. “The Ten Commandments? ‘Thou shall not lie’? Ringing any bells?”

Kara blinks dazedly for a moment at that before shaking her head vigorously to gather herself, her exasperation from earlier rapidly making its reappearance upon flushed ~~gorgeous~~ features. “You don’t even—You’re not—“ Kara sputters, clearly at a loss. “You’re not even _religious!_ ” 

“And how is that relevant?”

Kara’s eyes bulge, and Lena allows herself to feel a hint of sadistic pleasure at the sight of it. “What do you _mean_ ‘how is that relevant’?”

“I don’t know; maybe you should Google it,” Lena snarks cleverly, and Kara’s gaping jaw instantly snaps shut, expression wrought with what Lena thinks is meant to be powerful irascibility, but really just ends up looking more like severe constipation than anything else. “What’s wrong, darling?” Lena mocks provokingly as Kara’s face reddens in anger. "Nothing to say?”

“You wanna know why I didn’t tell you?” Kara asks after a long moment, voice trembling with (presumably) the concerted effort it’s taking to keep her rage under control. 

Lena narrows her gaze. “Not particularly.”

Kara sighs heavily, shaking her head in dismay as if Lena’s arguing purely for the sake of arguing, as if Lena’s making a mountain out of a motherfucking molehill just because she _can_ , as if _Lena’s_ to blame for all of this when the whole bloody thing could have just as easily been avoided had Kara or even one of her ridiculous ‘Superfriends’ deigned to tell Lena the truth for _once_. 

(She gets the lying, at first, okay? She gets why Kara didn’t tell her newest friend in National City, sister to the infamous homicidal maniac Lex Luthor, that she moonlighted as Supergirl in the first few weeks wherein which they’d grown acquainted.

But, really, after months upon _months_ of movie nights and lunch dates and late-night confessions, she doesn’t get to know that her best friend is the same Kryptonian superhero who’s been treating her like a villain and doubting her at every turn and making even a working relationship between the two of them something frightfully near an unequivocal impossibility?

_Seriously?_ )

And, fine, Lena sort of snaps (—but, in her defense, she thinks she’s more than justified in doing so): “You know what, Kara? At first, I understood. Okay? I understood why you wouldn’t tell me, because Lex is my big brother, and Superman’s your cousin, and I hadn’t proven myself worthy of your trust,” she demurs, hating the way her voice trembles under the sheer emotion wracking her body in powerful waves, and hating even more the way that the anger fades so quickly from Kara’s sunny features, replaced effortlessly by one of pain and sadness that tugs at Lena’s heartstrings even as she curses herself for being so _weak_. “But, I’ve risked a lot for you—hell, I’ve risked _everything_ for you, for this city: my life, my reputation, my _work_. Can you honestly say you’ve done the same?"

Kara just stares. “Lena, I—"

“When I told you about how I helped Lex, how I tried to cure his cancer even knowing he would betray me like he did, I cried. Remember?” she asks (it’s rhetorical), a sort of brokenness creeping into her voice that she loathes even as she knows she doesn’t have a bloody chance of stopping it—and, she doesn’t let Kara answer, doesn’t pause for any longer than a moment before she’s continuing: “I cried that day so _much_ , and Luthors aren’t supposed to cry. And, you… you hugged me tight, and you told me it wasn’t my fault.”

Kara’s lips quirk at the edges even as the persistent sadness in her eyes remains. “It wasn’t.”

“You could’ve had me jailed, or thrown in containment at the D.E.O. for aiding and abetting,” Lena goes on, fighting to keep herself in check even as Kara’s forlorn expression tears relentlessly at what little remains of her pitifully fragmented self-control. “You could have ruined everything for me, don’t you see that? I don’t have a safety valve like you do, okay, Kara?” Her voice cracks horribly on that last syllable, but _God_ , she doesn’t care. Not right now. 

"I don’t have superpowers and godlike invulnerability; when they slap me with a life sentence and throw me in a prison cell, I can’t get out, because the only one who might come for me is Lillian, and I think I’d take fatal injection any day over whatever it is she’ll inevitably ask of me.” Lena pauses then for a tense moment, frustrated tears stinging her eyes even as she desperately wills herself not to cry, feeling small and tired and vulnerable under the weight of both Kelly and Kara’s intent stares. 

“Look, if I _really_ wanted another back-breaking relationship where all I do is give and give and _give_ until I’m broken and crying and _begging_ for even the tiniest modicum of affection, of a single sign that you even _care_ —if I really wanted all that, I’d just arrange for Lex to be broken out of prison, and let him have another go at me,” she says bitterly, though she deliberately injects a bit of humor into that last bit—but, Kelly and Kara don’t laugh, and neither does Lena. “I wanted to be your friend because I thought you’d be _different_. I wanted—"

“LenaI’minlovewithyou,” Kara blurts in a scrambled rush, entirely unintelligible and Lena fights the urge to smack the blonde for her hasty (read: fucking _rude_ ) interruption (even if it will unquestionably result in numerous broken bones on her part) as a devastated tear traces down her cheek. 

“Kara,” she warns, her voice wavering dangerously, "I swear to _God_ —"

“Lena, _please_ —” 

“ _What?_ ” she snarls finally, glaring _hard_ at Kara through vision blurred with tears. “ _What_ is it, Kara? What could you _possibly_ have to say for yourse—"

“Lena, I’m in love with you!” Kara practically yells, and Lena’s jaw promptly shuts. 

… _What?_

The room is silent for a good 30 seconds (though Lena thinks she hears Kelly whimper something that sounds suspiciously like _“Oh, dear God,”_ though, really, she can’t be sure)—Kara’s breathing heavily like she’s just run a marathon whilst Lena’s features remain frozen in a semi-resentful glare (one that’s rapidly losing any and all hint of its trademark animosity) even as additional tears drip down her pale cheeks.

“Huh?” she sputters out eloquently after a long moment, voice hoarse and gravelly with tears. 

Kara flushes deeply at that, fiddling with her hands in her lap even as her impossibly blue eyes remained trained upon a stock-still Lena beside her. 

“I’m… I’m in love with you, Lena,” she states simply, slowly, as if she’s telling Lena something painfully obvious—Lena, for her part, immediately averts her teary-eyed gaze to the carpeted floor, fearing for all the world that she’s about to faint, overwhelmed and terrified and confused in a way that’s distinctly unlike anything she’s ever experienced before. 

She’s sits there for a long spell, mentally reviewing every aspect of the session thus far, searching frantically for where in the _hell_ this came from—and, regrettably, she comes up empty; no, all she has is a new surge of anger cresting deep in her belly, along with a potent fog of dizziness descending rapidly upon her until she isn’t sure what’s real and what she’s imagined, filling her with a delirious desire to just give in now solely so that she doesn’t have to fight anymore—so _they_ don’t have to fight anymore. 

“Th-That’s not fair,” she speaks eventually in a deadly-calm tone, wincing at the way she stutters audibly over her words.

She can’t see Kara (her conflicted gaze is still resolutely downcast because she thinks she’ll fucking break if she tries looking Kara in the eye right now), but she can practically _feel_ the troubled frown she’s sending Lena’s way, the weight of it like a fucking _building_ upon her chest, squeezing tirelessly at her lungs until she’s gasping for breath.

“What?” Kara questions, breathless and hesitant. 

Lena shakes her head, watching as a falling tear stains the charcoal-grey fabric of her designer skirt. “You heard me.” And, with that, she stands to leave, not bothering to give a single parting word to neither Kelly nor Kara—she simply strides as confidently as she can manage over to the door (though she feels inexplicably off-balance in her four-inch heels, something she’s not all that accustomed to feeling), wrenching it open with trembling hands and slipping out into the hall, bracing herself against the eggshell-white plaster walls whilst the door shuts with a _click!_ behind her. 

And then, she cries—no, _sobs_ , really. 

She knows Kara can hear her but she doesn’t care she doesn’t care she doesn’t _care_ , not when she thinks she’s losing everything all over again like she prayed she wouldn’t have to, prayed to a God she didn’t believe in that this time would be different—that this time wouldn’t hurt. 

If there’s a God up there, watching her break down and cry and sob in admittedly spectacular fashion outside her ex-boyfriend’s psychologist-sister’s therapeutic office as the woman she tragically (unexplainably) loves listens in all the while, Lena doesn’t think she likes him. 

She doesn’t know that she ever will. 

⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲ ⟲

**Author's Note:**

> as always: thoughts? also pls don't hate me for the angst ok i'm SORRY 
> 
> (my [tumblr](https://psyches.co.vu/))


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